Really, the only thing keeping Kershaw from getting an A+ is that hideous growth on his face he’s calling a “beard”, because he was everything you could have hoped for and more in his first full season in the bigs.
Mike Scioscia’s Tragic Illness
I’m not surprised that Lincecum was busted for marijuana possession. I mean look at the guy! He has hippie written all over him. I’m more shocked that the Weaver brothers have made it this long without being arrested.
Juan Pierre’s Oversized Hat
What Brick said: ‘When your powerplay is inept.’
What Brick meant: ‘When your powerplay is so bad, even at my age, I could lead this team in powerplay goals.’ SoSH
What Brick meant: ‘When your powerplay is so bad, even at my age, I could lead this team in powerplay goals.’ SoSH
- Professor: ¿Quién ganará esta noche?
- Student: PHILLIES, BABY!
I will only be happy if Maxim Lapierre has his existence ended on Thursday.
SoSH
Padilla reportedly shot himself in the leg at a shooting range in Nicaragua. He is currently not under contract with the club. I very much hope it remains that way, a hope I had before he Plaxicoed himself.
Plaschke, Thy Sweater Is Argyle
So, the vaguely uncomfortable feeling you got from sitting on a seat which is warm from somebody else’s bottom is just as real a feeling as the one you get when a rogue giant elephant charges out of the bush at you, but hitherto only the latter has actually had a word for it. The first one is ‘shoeburyness,’ and the second, of course, is ‘fear.’
Douglas Adams on the creation of The Meaning of Liff, originally published in the Pan Promotion News, October 1983. Reprinted in The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time.
First of all, realise that it’s very hard, and that writing is a grueling and lonely business and, unless you are extremely lucky, badly paid as well. You had better really, really, really want to do it. Next, you have to write something. Unless you are committed to novel writing exclusively, I suggest that you start out writing for radio. It’s still a relatively easy medium to get into because it pays so badly. But it is a great medium for writers because it relies so much on the imagination.
Douglas Adams on becoming an author, appended to the introduction to The Original Hitchhiker Scripts, as published in The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time.
The socially correct way of pouring tea is to put the milk in after the tea. Social correctness has traditionally had nothing whatever to do with reason, logic, or physics. In fact, in England it is generally considered socially incorrect to know stuff or think about things. It’s worth bearing this in mind when visiting.
Douglas Adams, “Tea,” as published in The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time
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