pure science with a splash of black cat

Don't tweet about money-making schemes and egg sales.

• Olivia: and LOLLL selling eggs
• Olivia: i know right
• Amanda: LOL
• Olivia: but little people who are half me running around
• Olivia: and of whom i don't know about
• Amanda: LMFAO
• Olivia: perturbs me
• Amanda: Ahahahahaha I was going to say something about Geoffrey but I won't
• Olivia: LMFAOOOOOO
• Amanda: IT COULD HAPPEN
• Olivia: LOLOLLLL
• Olivia: omgggg
• Olivia: sorry, the idea is making me die
• Amanda: LMFAO
• Olivia: i wonder what kind of spammers
• Olivia: "sold your eggs"
• Olivia: will get you
• Amanda: LMFAO
• Olivia: i am hungry
• Olivia: i guess it's time for lunch
• Olivia: i really didn't want to spend money
• Amanda: Talking about eggs will do that
• Olivia: LMFAO

La poesía es muy seria

• Professor: ¿Quién es considerado la persona segunda más inteligente del siglo XVII?
• Student: ¿Ud.?
• Professor: Gracias, payaso.

It wasn't Jeter, so that's obviously all that matters.

• Amanda: AHAHAHAHA
• Amanda: 27 of 28 first place votes
• Olivia: LOL
• Amanda: and the other one
• Olivia: who was that ONE person
• Amanda: Miguel Cabrera
• Amanda: LMFAO
• Olivia: LMFAIO
• Olivia: WHAT?
• Olivia: LOL
• Amanda: I DON'T KNOW AHAHAHA
• Olivia: HAHAHAHAHAH
• Olivia: OKAY
• Olivia: like
• Olivia: if you're not gonna vote for mauer for first place
• Olivia: like, pick someone else who makes sense
• Olivia: like. i don't know
• Olivia: not miguel cabrera?
• Olivia: LOLOL

More fun from RMPS, "lol nut jokes" edition

• SoSHer #1: I think that was important to respond like that after Atlanta tied it. It showed some testicular fortitude.
• SoSHer #2: Something they've lacked in the past...
• SoSHer #3: They shipped their lack of testicles out of town.
• SoSHer #4: Testicle. One.
• SoSHer #3: Sementics.

Levity in a time of shit hockey.

• SoSHer #1: This is an embarrassing effort. And that's the key word - effort. Lazy all fucking game. Don't deserve shit.
• SoSHer #2: Are you talking about the game or your performance in bed?
• SoSHer #3: At least the game actually happens.

Andrine's night is clearly made

• Andrine: haha, i don't want in between the periods anymore
• Andrine: fucking naoko makes me want to kill babies
• ...
• Andrine: these games are so difficult for me
• Andrine: i have a perma-girl-boner for malkin, but i hate crosby, but i love the bruins
• ...
• Amanda: Oh there's an interview for you
• Amanda: Naoko and Crosby
• Andrine: dflaksdfjasl;dfajkl;sdf;a
• Andrine: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Blame George Brett (http://is.gd/4TmNI)

• Olivia: i can imagine that andre would be the most annoyed starbucks worker ever
• Olivia: "YOU WANT A DOUBLE WHAT? WITHOUT WHAT?"
• Olivia: "GOD, WHY ARE YOU SO COMPLICATED"

Like, absolutely, man.

• Professor: So what did Galilei discover about Aristotle's claim about the effect of gravity on objects of different weights?
• Student: The other guy was, like, wrong.

We're loving, sensitive types.

• Me: How's Yoshi?
• Mom: He's a brat.
• Me: He's still eating and stuff?
• Mom: Oh, yeah.
• Dad: He woo-woo'd at me earlier.
• Me: Really? Awww.
• Dad: Basically, yeah, he's still here, if that's what you're asking.

• Professor: ¿Quién ganará esta noche?
• Student: PHILLIES, BABY!