July 2009
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“I would like to thank all of you for joining us this evening at what truly has...”
– Lewis Black, The Carnegie Hall Performance
June 2009
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The Baseball Analysts: The 50th Anniversary of Vin... →
June 30, 1959:
“First it was ruled foul, then it was ruled fair, then the Dodgers won half a case and got Mays to go to second base. As soon as we get the ground rules on this particular play off the back of a batting card, we can pass them along.”
You ever wonder why this man is so beloved? Why he is a legend? This is why.
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My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2009-6-28) →
Stevie Ray Vaughan and Double Trouble (16)
Jimmy Sommers (10)
Don Henley (10)
Michael Jackson (9)
Eagles (7)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
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“Was it just me or did today’s celebration really look like Ethier was...”
– Memories of Kevin Malone
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Rally 'Round the Flagg, Boys
Charles: Pierce has a big mouth, he's always butting into other people's business, but that makes him obnoxious, not a spy.
Flagg: Doesn't wash. I'm obnoxious and I'm a spy.
Charles: Touché.
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“I’m not exactly sure what business the Giants have being six games over...”
– Dodger Blues
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Casey Blake interviews Andre Ethier
Zelasko: Here's Andre Ethier. Come on, come on. Don't be afraid, he's a nice guy. [to Blake] Do you want to do the interviewing or should I move on?
Blake: Well...yeah, I'll do it. Andre, you have basically no homers on the road, all at home. Can you explain that?
Ethier: I guess it's just a comfortable feeling here playing at home and [a matter of] going out there and concentrating enough on the road to put a good swing on the ball. I better pick it up and if I do, I can have a lot more better numbers than I do right now.
Zelasko: Do you have a follow-up?
Blake: I think he saw me catching up to him in homers so he had to do something about it.
Zelasko: Do you have a response to that? Is the challenge on?
Ethier: It's good camaraderie amongst the teammates to have a race amongst each other. I did see him catching up and overtaking me, I think, for a little bit so I had to put the pressure back on him and go ahead.
Zelasko: Career night, but maybe you need to learn a thing or two about a curtain call. Because they were calling you back out here, so take another curtain call right now. Gentlemen, thank you so very much. This is where you thank him.
Blake: What's that?
Zelasko: This is where you thank him.
Blake: Oh yeah. Thanks, E.
Zelasko: We're done with our interview. Congratulations.
Ethier: Thank you.
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Celestial Navigation
Phone next to bed: [rings several times]
Bartlet: What?
Charlie: Good morning, Mr. President. It's Charlie. I hope...
Bartlet: What could you possibly want right now?
Charlie: Sir, it's 6:30 a.m. and...
Bartlet: In the morning?
Charlie: Yes, sir. And I wanted to remind you that...
Bartlet: I mean, what in the name of everything holy could you want right now?
Charlie: I wanted to remind you that you have a 7:00 a.m. at the Oval Office with senior staff, followed by your security and intelligence briefings, and a meeting with the Chairman of the Fed. Would you like me to have the stewards bring you some coffee and the Washington Post?
Bartlet: Who the hell is this?
Charlie: Sir.
Bartlet: And what could you possibly want?
Charlie: Sir. I need you to dig in now. It wasn't a nightmare. You really are the President.
Bartlet: All right.
Charlie: I'll have the stewards bring the coffee to your room.
Bartlet: I'll get up now.
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A classic from bash.org that describes my mood at...
Zybl0re: get up
Zybl0re: get on up
Zybl0re: get up
Zybl0re: get on up
phxl|paper: and DANCE
nmp3bot: [dances] :D\-<
nmp3bot: [dances] :D|-<
nmp3bot: [dances] :D/-<
[SA]HatfulOfHollow: i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet
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Well, thanks for telling me!
The label of my bottle of prescription shampoo saved my life today when it told me,
“Not for … intravaginal use.”
Really?! Holy shit! Crisis averted! That would have been an utter disaster!
(Also: “intravaginal”? As opposed to “intervaginal,” I’m assuming. Please do not expound on this, Shampoo Label.)
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“That was a pretty neat crowd for a triple-A ballgame. The atmosphere from the...”
– Blake DeWitt, who needs to buy a thesaurus (Manny Ramirez returns in New Mexico)
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Things I Found in My Desk
I reorganized the drawer in my desk and discovered that I might not need to buy any more office supplies until, say, the Second Coming.
38 Dixon Ticonderoga Black #2 pencils. 26 unsharpened, 12 sharpened. I’ll attribute this to my musical background and the scolding that would ensue for any member of the Coventry High School music department who did not possess a pencil.
8 miniature...
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“Every little kid was asking, ‘Is Manny here yet?’”
– Blake DeWitt learns that no one cares about AAA infielders who hit .250 (Manny Ramirez’s fission statement in Albuquerque)
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“If there is a hell, it is modeled after Jr. High.”
– Lewis Black, in Nothing’s Sacred
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“@cupofchowdah Hartnell’s big red hockey ‘fro flapping in Fenway...”
– Joe Haggerty (@HackswithHaggs)
I disagree, Haggs, but the image is quite hilarious.
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Discussion: You can dump one contract from your... →
dreamincolorx:
As a Red Sox fan, the answer “Julio Lugo” is obvious.
No one on the Marlins makes enough/sucks enough to even consider dumping them, heh. Most are rookies with options. Bonifacio should be in AAA but that is neither here nor there…
Gotta agree on Lugo. That’s a given.
From the Dodgers, I’d say Jason Schmidt and Andruw Jones, neither of whom actually play for the...
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“He began that year sleeping in a firehouse in Camden, New Jersey, and ended it...”
– Lee Allen on Rube Waddell’s 1903 season
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Walter Johnson forgives and forgets
On August 28, Johnson and Ray Collins staged another fantastic duel at Fenway. Johnson gave up a single to Steve Yerkes in the second inning, then retired 26 Red Sox in a row. Unfortunately, the Nationals still couldn’t dent Collins, who shut them out again. The break came in the eleventh inning, when Clyde Milan let Steve Yerkes’s single roll through him to the fence, letting the...
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“In my opinion — and I suppose if there is any subject that I am qualified...”
– Walter Johnson
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“Time called. The dreaded beach ball has shown up on the track in right field. So...”
– Vin Scully
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“Next pitch, a breaking ball that just misses, and the crowd groans. A lot of...”
– Vin Scully
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“A friend is someone who sees through you and still enjoys the view.”
– Wilma Askinas (via kari-shma) (via quote-book)
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What we do when we get together
Amanda: Why are you Tweeting at me when I'm 5 feet away?
Pam: Why are you replying?
Amanda: 'Cause I can. So there.
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“I remember Dusty saying to me one day with a deadly serious face,...”
– Vin Scully on Dusty Rhodes
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“It’s been nagging and it’s something more than a cold. It really...”
– Randy Wolf (Wolf seeks answers for persistent cough)
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“A is for Alex
The great Alexander;
More goose eggs he pitched
Than a popular...”
– “Line-Up for Yesterday” Ogden Nash Sport Magazine, 1949
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IS HE EATING HIS CRUSTS
Amanda: I just checked Thome's numbers to see how he's hitting this year.
Pam: Yeah?
Amanda: Jake should take a lesson from him. He's hitting .256 and his OBP is .403.
Pam: Jake should be a White Sox. Or Thome should be a Royal. That would be hilarious.
Amanda: It would!
Pam: Thome and Farnsworth on the same team.
Amanda: The Dugout would explode.
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“(315): You smell like a Billy Joel song”
– texts from last night 