“There was Pope John, if you remember. Now it’s Pope John Paul. The next pope’s gonna be Pope John Paul George, and we can see where they’re going.”
“With holy water and Jesus Disks!”
“All I’m talking about here is blasphemy, blas-phe-you, blas-phe-everybody in the room…”
“They’re not very good at naming popes as well. They had a run of Piuses. It went like Hollywood. It was Pope Pius I, Pope Pius II, Pope Pius III ‘The Revenge of Pope Pius,’ Pope Pius IV ‘This Time He’s Pissed Off,’ Pope Pius V ‘In 3-D!: The Body of Christ’…”
I still hate my university.
They cancelled classes, which, fucking duh, URI. But.
My computer woke me up at 3 this morning because it rebooted itself after doing Automatic Update. The only reason I have Automatic Update turned on — in a sane world, that is, semester breaks, I have the computer notify me of updates and I install them myself — is because ITS requires it in order to use the school wireless network.* So my computer blared its startup noise quite loudly and scared the shit out of me and now I can’t get back to sleep and it’s almost 5am.
Yes, I’m blaming my university for this. BECAUSE I CAN.
(* No, I can’t get around this. It’s not an honor-system thing. The network detects it. It creeps me out in a 1984 sort of way.)
“It’s K-K-K-Ken, c-c-coming to k-k-k-kill me!”
“Go on, Ken! You don’t have the guts! Admit it! … Okay, you have the guts! Good!”
“How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?”
Oh, go fuck yourself, URI. Every single public, private, Catholic, charter, and vocational school is closed tomorrow, but we’re still going to hold classes ‘cause the idea of six thousand students trying to get home from class in a fucking blizzard is a great one. AWESOME.
Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band - Old Time Rock And Roll
CLASSIC!
Who doesn’t like this song?
***scans room as several hands are raised***
SHAME ON YOU. Go to the rock hall of fame and repent for your transgressions! This song is pure greatness and Seger’s muttonchops are fantastic to boot! So go ahead press play, bow your head in shame and do your penance. And then, enjoy.
-CaliDre
I’ll never get tired of this song.
reblogged from dailycrack
My life is so exciting that we're going to talk about the dentist right now.
I’m going to the dentist tomorrow for my six-month scolding.* Every time I go, the hygienist tells me I am going to get gingivitis and die if I don’t get an electric toothbrush. I get her point, but, you know, I hate electric toothbrushes and I haven’t gotten gingivitis yet, so I think I’ll stick with good old-fashioned elbow grease.
I figured, though, I might appease the hygienist by actually looking at electric toothbrushes. So I looked on Oral-B’s website and went through a wizard to get a recommendation for an affordable electric toothbrush for my ultrasensitive pearly whites.
The one they came up with for me costs $70.
Cute, Oral-B. Real cute. I’ll definitely stick with letting the hygienist give me a free manual toothbrush every time I go. It’s a solid plan.
(* It used to be I’d get scolded for not flossing enough, because I can’t fucking floss — my sausage fingers don’t fit in my mouth. Then someone invented these things. Now I get scolded for not having an electric toothbrush. I can’t win.)
Super Bowl 44: Most Watched TV Thing Ever - Super Bowl XLIV - Deadspin
Over 106 million American people watched the Big Game last night, breaking the U.S. audience record held by the series finale of M*A*S*H since 1983. Finally, someone put that smug Alan Alda in his place!
I hate football and love M*A*S*H, but…snerk.
Monty Python - “Sit on My Face”
from Monty Python’s Contractual Obligation Album
The song was found to be actionably indecent despite English accent and “ambient noise” because the lyrics were sufficiently understandable.
(via this FCC document) I think that about covers it. And yet I still hoped we could get away with doing this in high-school band. I was a weird teenager. Am a weird adult. Whatever. I blame my parents. I’m pretty sure this is the first Python thing I ever heard in my life and it’s their fault.
And the ironing bit from Around the World in 80 Days is on YouTube! Hooray! (I referenced this the other day. Convenient!)
